Thorn Fae Chapter 12: Really, Truly

“Thorn, what are we doing here?” My boyfriend, Pepper, latched onto my arm as we walked out to the beach. It had been a few days since we found out he was pregnant. He was understandably upset, he’d been in bed for days. So, I decided that getting him out of the house for a bit would be beneficial. Though he didn’t seem to be very enthused by it, I still knew it was good for him.

“We needed some fresh air, love. And besides, its so nice out tonight.” I could only take him out in the night time, it was the safest time for us to sneak in and out of the house.

“Are we safe out here?” He asked warily. Pepper nervously scanned the beach, turning his head to look behind us as well.

“It’s the middle of the night, and this is the good part of town. No one will even know we were here.” I knew what he was thinking. He was worried about Hemp finding us. But I don’t think he’d ever even set foot in the good part of town. We were fine.

“If you say so.” He sighed and pulled himself closer to me. “Why are you doing this, Thorn?”

“Because you haven’t gotten out of bed in days. You can’t stay cooped up in the house forever.” I explained softly.

“No, I get that. I mean why are you staying with me? We haven’t been dating that long, you don’t have to stay and have this burden put onto you.”

“Pepper, we’ve been friends for years. You took me in when I was scared and traumatized. You gave me a family. That’s something that I never had.” I smiled softly, remembering all the good times we had with Rose and Jean. “It’s just us now, but that doesn’t change anything, we’re still family. And this baby? This baby is our baby. No one else’s.”

“I love you.” He whispered so softly I almost missed it over the gently lapping of the waves.

“I love you too.” I told him. My hands found his head and I crashed our lips together. It felt like no matter how hard I kissed him in that moment, it wasn’t hard enough.

In that moment, I knew I really, truly loved him.

“Pepper.” I pulled back slightly, to breathe a little.

“Yea?” He sounded just as out of breath as I felt.

“We’re gonna get through this. You’re strong as hell, you’re gonna make an amazing father and we’re gonna give this baby a great life.”

“You’re gonna make an amazing father too.”

“I don’t know about that. I never really had a good father figure.” I smiled sadly.

“So? You’re an incredible man, you didn’t need a father figure to get you to this point. You’ll be great.” He told me, though I wasn’t so sure he was right.

“Sit.” I let go of his face and plopped down into the sand.

Pepper laid down between my legs and gently kissed me on the lips. “I don’t think I’d be able to get through this without you. I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Well thankfully we don’t have to think about that.” I squeezed my eyes shut, I didn’t want to think about how he wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me.

“Thank god. I need you by my side.”

“I’ll be by your side until one of us dies. But that won’t happen for a long time.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

But some promises are impossible to keep.


I had tried to cut back on spending time in the library, but Pepper insisted that I go and try to find my father. All I had to go on was a last name, a description, and the fact that I knew he was alive.

Surprisingly, there were a lot of people with the last name Fae. It took me a while to go through the phone book website, research each person and cross them off the list when I found that they weren’t my father.

After going through quite a few of my distant relatives, I finally came across a woman named Honey Fae. At first I wasn’t looking up any of the women, but I thought it might be a good idea since they could know my father somehow.

When I came across Honey’s social media accounts, I found a picture that immediately piqued my interest. It was of a woman, who I am assuming is Honey, sitting on the lap of a man. He had orange hair, and the same bright green eyes as I did. From what I saw on the television, this man had to be my father.

This woman looked like she was close with him. She had many pictures of him on her profile, I could only assume that this woman was his girlfriend or wife. My father didn’t have a profile himself, he wasn’t tagged in anything but I found out his name through her posts.

Lake.

My father’s name was Lake.

Immediately, I scribbled Honey’s number down from the phone book website. I had to call this woman, my father’s name wasn’t in there so this was the closest I was gonna get.

My body carried me to the library phone faster than my mind could think. I hesitated when I got to it, though. Was I ready for this? To finally talk to my father? Did he know about me? Did he want to know about me? Would he want me in his life, or was he not around for a reason?

My hands started to shake as I contemplated. I looked down at the phone number, scrawled messily across a scrap of paper. This number could change everything.

Was I ready for everything to change for me?

I folded up the piece of paper, stuck it in my pocket, and left the library.


“Find anything interesting at the library today, Babe?” Pepper asked as I crawled into bed next to him.

“Nothing really.” I lied. I couldn’t tell him yet, I was too cowardly to reach out and I didn’t want him to think less of me.

“That’s a bummer. You can always go back tomorrow.” He replied, cheerily.

“That’s okay, I’d rather spend the day here with you.” I nuzzled into his chest with a smile.

“You’re such a cheeseball.” Pepper chuckled to himself. “But really, you don’t have to stay here with me. Actually, both of us should be out there. We need to find jobs.”

“Let’s not think about that right now.” I sighed, “Let’s just live in this moment.”

“Okay.” He pulled me closer to him and sighed happily. “I could live in this moment forever.”

“Me too. There’s no place I’d rather be, than here in your arms.”

“Thorn, what do you think of Starlight Shores?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“I think it’s the hub of all things media. Music, film, television, video games. All of it. It sounds like an awesome place to visit.”

“Would you want to live there?” He asked tentatively.

“What?” I shot up with surprise. He sat up next to me and smiled at me.

“Would you want to live there? I know its expensive, but if we find your dad maybe he could help. You could go to school and become a video game developer like you wanted. I could grow a garden, sell the excess, and raise our baby. It would be perfect.” He looked away from me nervously.

“Babe, that sounds perfect.” I gently touched him on the back. “I would love to move anywhere with you.”

“Aw, really?”

“Of course.” I pulled myself into a sitting position at the headboard. “You mean the world to me, and Starlight Shores would be an amazing place to raise our family. It’s a dream come true.” I smiled as he laid on my lap.

“Being with you is a dream come true.” Pepper grabbed my face and pulled me down to look at him. I rolled my eyes at his cheesy-ness.

“You’re such a sap.”

“Oh, and you’re not?” He laughed.

“True, true.” I smiled back at him.

“I love you, Thorn.”

“I love you too, Pepper.” I told him softly before kissing him.

I really, truly loved Pepper Mattison.

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Thorn Fae Chapter 11: I Won’t Leave

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Pepper fell asleep not long after we finished. I dressed him while he slept, he was so exhausted he didn’t even twitch, let alone wake up. For myself, I dug through the old dresser and found a sweater to wear with my boxers.

He looked so peaceful in his sleep. It was as if every problem in his mind was washed away when he closed his eyes. I was glad. Pepper deserved to have some peace. The past twenty-four hours were stressful. I hoped he wouldn’t regret what we did. It was emotional, and kind of a heat of the moment thing, but it meant so much to me. He meant so much to me. I couldn’t stand to lose that now. He was all I had.

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My thumb traced his cheekbone softly. I wanted to protect him. So far, I hadn’t done such a good job of that. Because of me, Hemp was able to do awful things to him. I wouldn’t let it happen again, I wouldn’t let him get away with it.

“I’ll make him pay.” I whispered softly.

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“I’m gonna make that fucker suffer, for you and Rose. I promise.”

And I meant that.


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Life with Pepper as my boyfriend was amazing. Even though the house had no electricity, we had to sneak in and out, and occasionally hide when someone came, it was perfect. We were living in domestic bliss. He cooked, I cleaned, and it was paradise. Sure, sometimes we had our moments where we broke down and cried, considering everything that had happened the past few months. But things were good right now.

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Pepper was an incredible cook. He made me all sorts of things, things he grew up eating and things of his own creation. Cooking was a passion of his, second only to gardening. He had to leave his garden behind at the park so he threw himself into cooking for me. I hoped someday I could give him a huge garden, one he can only dream of right now.

“Y’know, its a little creepy that you just sit there and watch.” Pepper teased.

“Ah I can’t help myself, how can I tear my eyes away from my hunky boyfriend making me food?” I smirked at him.

“Ah shush, I’m not that hunky.” He blushed slightly.

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“You shush, you’re hunky as hell. Like those underwear models, but better.”

“How am I better?” He turned to me and gave me a confused look.

“Well, you’re here and they’re not.” I teased. Pepper rolled his eyes at me. “And you’re real, not photo-shopped.”

“I’m not man enough to be like one of those models.” He sighed to himself and resumed his cooking.

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I got up from my chair and came up behind him. “Don’t say that, that’s not true at all. You know that. You’re as much of a guy as they are.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, it’s like there’s a stranger standing there.” He explained as he leaned back into my body.

“I know. I feel the same way sometimes. But it won’t always be like that. We’re gonna do this, and we’re gonna do it together.”

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Pepper spun around while still wrapped in my arms. “You’re amazing, you know that, right?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” I half smirked at him. “I think you’re the amazing one here.”

“Oh shut up.” He laughed before kissing me softly.

“I mean it, Pepper.” I pulled back after a few seconds. “We’re gonna do this. You and me, against the world. We’re gonna transition and we’re gonna be happy.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” I smiled against his lips.


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Occasionally during the day, I would go to the library and do some research. Some days it would be trans related things, but other days I would be looking for my father. One day, after about three months of living in the house, I found something.

“Pepper, babe guess what!” I yelled as I ran up the stairs. I turned to the room and stopped dead in my tracks.

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“Pepper?” My handsome, perfect boyfriend was sitting on the bed crying. “Pepper what happened?”

“P-please don’t be m-mad at me.” He said between sobs.

“Babe, what could possibly make me mad at you?” I approached the bed slowly, so I wouldn’t set him off. “Can I sit?”

He nodded and pulled his knees closer to his chest.

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“Talk to me, please. I’m here for you.” I sat across from him and gave him a supportive smile. I was getting better at this comforting stuff.

“Y-you know how I-I told you about h-how Hemp d-did things to me?” He averted my eye contact by staring at his knees. My heart wrenched. How could I forget?

“Yes.”

“He-he raped me.” Pepper whispered, so softly I would’ve missed it if a car drove by. Pepper had implied it, but to actually hear him say it was something else entirely. I felt a rage burn through my chest.

“That fucker.” I cursed under my breath.

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Pepper squeezed his eyes shut. “Please, please don’t get angry.”

“I’m not angry at you, love.” I softened my voice despite the fire of hatred coursing through my veins. I was going to make this man pay, no matter what.

“I think he m-might’ve…” his voice trailed off and got even softer. “I think he might’ve gotten me pregnant.

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Oh fuck.


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Pepper wouldn’t say much to me after that. He just sobbed. Deep, soul crushing sobs. I told him I’d run to the store and grab him a test, so we could be sure. I went as fast as I could without looking suspicious. Though it had been a while, and my mother had been thrown from her throne, I still had to look out.

As soon as I got back to the house I gave him the box.

“Will you stay with me?” He asked helplessly. He reminded me of a small child in that moment and there was no way I could refuse.

“Of course babe.” So I sat on the floor of the bathroom while he took the test.

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I had to admit, I was terrified. There was no way we could raise a baby here. There was no electricity, we could be found out any day, it just wasn’t safe. But we had no money. There was one place we could go, but I’d have to run that by Pepper first.

Also, I was worried about Pepper’s mental health. How would he feel, raising his rapist’s baby? Could he do it? Would he want to do it? Or would he want to give the baby up? Would he be able to handle being a pregnant guy? I wasn’t sure if I could handle something like that, it seemed like it would cause too much dysphoria.

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I watched Pepper as he sat there, staring at the little plastic stick in his hand. Tears still ran silently down his face, but he wasn’t sobbing anymore. From what little I knew about pregnancy tests, I knew it wasn’t showing results yet. He was just staring at it, and it was impossible for me to read what he was thinking.

“Thorn.” Pepper’s voice was hoarse, from all the crying. “It’s positive.”

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“It’s positive! I’m fucking pregnant.” He started to cry even harder than he had been. “What am I going to do? It’s been months, it’s too late now to abort. I can’t raise a baby. Not here. Oh god. What am I gonna do?”

“Hey, Pepper. You’re not alone in this. We’re gonna figure this out.”

“You’re not gonna leave? You’re gonna stay with your boyfriend who’s been knocked up by another man?”

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I stood up and gently pulled him off the toilet. “Of course I’m going to stay with you. You’re strong as hell and we’re gonna make the best damn dads.”

“We can’t raise a baby here, Thorn. We don’t even have enough money to support ourselves, let alone a child.” He clutched onto my shoulders for dear life.

“Do you remember how I came up the stairs, saying I found something?” I reminded him of earlier.

“Yes. What did you find?”

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“I found out my father is still alive. I saw him, in a video. The coronation of the new kings, he was there and he’s alive.” I told him what had excited me so much earlier in the day.

“Oh my god. Thorn that’s amazing.”

“We can find him, maybe he can help us.” I offered. It was the best I could do in this moment.

My boyfriend was going to be a father, and I was about to find mine.