My mother was out for the day, I was able to spend some time with Hawk. The two of us sat in the library, bored and unsure of what to do. Neither of us were in the mood to play games after my mother’s outburst.
“Hawk, what should we do today? I’m bored.” I sighed.
“Dunno, maybe we should just hang out in here. If your mom comes home then it’ll take her longer to find us.”
“I guess, but what are we supposed to do in a library?” I sighed.
“I don’t know, talk I guess?” He suggested.
“Talk about what?” I wasn’t exactly a social expert…
“I don’t know, how are you?”
“Not great, I don’t really like my life.” I admitted.
“Why?” He cocked his head, visibly confused.
“I don’t know, I guess I’d rather have a life like yours.”
“Why? You’ve got a pretty cool life. You live in a castle!”
“You do too.” I reminded him.
“Yea, in a room with four other people. You have a sweet set up with games and toys. Why don’t you like it?”
“I-I guess I just don’t like being a girl.” I broke eye contact and started staring at my hands.
“Well do you wanna be a boy?”
“Then be a boy! My mom always tells me I can be whatever I wanna be, so you can too.” He smiled up at me.
“What do I have to do first?” I asked excitedly.
“Well, we should probably cut your hair, so you look more like a boy.” He suggested.
“I’ll race you to the bathroom!” I shot up and flew out of the room, eager to get started.
I beat Hawk to the bathroom fairly easily. With my back to him, I stood in front of the mirror.
“Clem, are you sure you wanna do this?” He asked nervously. “I know it’ll make you feel better, but what about your mom?”
“I don’t care, she can’t do anything about it. Sure, she can punish me, but that’s not gonna make my hair grow back.” I smirked, she could make me change my clothes if she wanted, but she can’t break the laws of nature.
“Hawk, hand me the scissors.” I stuck my hand out and he placed them in my hand.
I took a deep breath as I put my hair into a ponytail. “Well, here goes nothing.” I said as I cut the ponytail off.
“Your mom is going to kill us.” Hawk gulped from behind me.
After ten minutes of cutting and styling, I was finally happy with my hair. “So, how does it look?” I asked Hawk.
“Great, you look like a boy!” He smiled at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back. I never felt so happy with myself.
“Now what do I have to do to be a boy?”
“Um, I’m not sure, I think you’re already a boy.”
“What about my name? Clementine isn’t exactly a boy name.”
“Do you have a boy name you wanna go by?” He asked as I stepped off the stool and away from the mirror.
“Um. Not yet. I’ll think about it.”
“Well then until you do, I’ll just call you Clem. It’s not girly like your full name.”
“Thank you Hawk, you’re the best friend I could ever have.” I reached over and hugged him.
“Yea, of course, dude.” He patted me on the back. “Now, wanna go play on the trampoline?”
“What happened to hanging out in the library?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“We shouldn’t have to be afraid of your mom. Let’s just go have fun.”
Hawk and I spent the remainder of the afternoon bouncing on the trampoline. Even though we both knew my mom was going to burst a blood vessel screaming at me when she got home, we didn’t care. I finally felt happy with myself. No matter what my mom said to me, she couldn’t change that.
Soon, we heard the dreadful sound of my mom’s car pulling into the driveway. I looked over and saw her get out. She took one look at me and bolted inside.
“Clementine Fae, get your ass down here now.” She came outside screaming. It seemed like I heard her yell more than I actually heard her speak.
I sighed and looked at Hawk, we both knew this wasn’t going to end well.
“What have you done to yourself?” She bellowed as soon as I approached her.
“I cut my hair.” I responded nonchalantly.
“Why would you do such a thing! You look like a boy!”
“Because I wanna be a boy!” I screamed back. She looked baffled.
“That’s impossible, you’re a girl. You’ll always be a girl, and nothing but a girl. Now stop this nonsense. Get inside, right now.”
“I am a boy! No matter what you say.” I stomped my foot on the grass.
“Get inside right now young lady, I’m going to have a long talk with your father about your behavior.”
“I’m not a lady! And Aloe is not my father.” I snarled at her.
“Get. Inside.” She glared so hard that if looks could kill, I’d be dead a hundred times over.
“Fine.” I huffed and made my way inside.
“Aloe, what the hell is wrong with my daughter? Why is she acting like this?” I buried my face in my hand.
“I don’t know, Pumpkin, but this has to stop here. Maybe we should get her a therapist.” My husband suggested.
“Yea, maybe. Do you think she’s crazy, like Lake?” It was one of my biggest fears after finding out he was insane, I would hate for my child to end up just like him.
“It’s possible. But I think we can stop it here. If she get’s help, she’ll be able to get out of this ‘I’m a boy’ delusion.”
“I really hope you’re right, Aloe. This could end very badly for us. We could lose everything if we lose her.”
“I’ll call the therapist first thing in the morning.”
I could hear my mom and Aloe talking about me, so I went out and took a seat in the courtyard.
“Clem, can I sit?” Nutmeg’s voice asked from behind me.
“Sure.” I sighed. I didn’t want to be lectured by her too.
“So I talked to Hawk, he told me everything.” She smiled, and I felt a little more at ease. Maybe she wasn’t about to yell at me.
“And?” I asked, hopeful.
“And, I’m very proud of you. I know it can be scary to be yourself. But I’m here for you, I support you. I know Hawk does too.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at her. “But what about my mom? What is she gonna do to me?”
“I… I don’t know. But I’ll talk to her, I’ll try to talk some sense into her. Being transgender isn’t something that needs to be fixed.”
“What does that mean?”
“Transgender?” She asked, and I nodded. “It means not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth. Since you were born a girl, and you identify as a boy, that means you’re transgender.” She explained.
“Are there other people like me?” I asked.
“Loads, boys who were born girls, girls who were born boys. You’re not alone.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders.
“Yea. You’re a good kid, I promise I’m going to do my best to make sure you’re happy.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She kissed me on the top of my head. “Now, let’s get you some dinner, then get you off to bed.”
She grabbed my hand and led me out of the courtyard. It was nice to have one adult on my side.
So sorry for the long wait, I’ve been stuck on this chapter forever. Hopefully I’ll be posting more often now, thank you for bearing with me!