My last month was up and it was time for me to turn myself in. Dimitri and I had been paying attention to the news, it was obvious that everyone was counting on me to set them free. Part of me was angry that they placed this burden onto my shoulders. It didn’t seem fair, my children were still young and they needed their mother. But another part of me was glad. Given what they were asking of me, if it were anyone else I doubt they’d turn themselves in. Years of torture and testing wasn’t something people were lining up for.
I stood in front of my family for the last time in my life. Skye was still too young to understand what was happening, and I wasn’t entirely convinced Lake did either. Stone obviously understood, but true to his name he was being the rock for the rest of the family. My dear husband looked like he would break down any second.
My heart couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get started on my goodbyes.
“Hey baby.” I cooed softly as I lifted Lake into my arms.
“Don’t go Mama.” He whispered, visibly upset. Unfortunately he did understand the situation.
“I’m sorry baby, but I have too.” I quietly explained. He sighed and placed his tiny hands on my cheeks.
“I love you Mama.” His small voice made me start to tear up. I didn’t want to start crying already, I wanted to wait until I was on my boat, so my children wouldn’t have to see me cry.
“I love you too, be good for Daddy okay?”
“I will Mama.” He smiled. I gave him a big kiss before setting him down on the ground.
“Mama!” Skye giggled innocently. As I suspected, my one year old daughter had no idea what was going on.
“Hi sweetheart.” I smiled softly at my little baby. I cuddled her close to me and took in her scent. It hurt, knowing that I’d never be able to watch my children grow up. Especially Skye, she probably won’t remember me. I’ll just be a picture in the living room.
Even though I knew he never would, I wished Dimitri would re-marry. Or, marry, since we weren’t legally wed. I wanted my children to have a mother, even if it wasn’t me.
“You’ll be good for the boys, right?”
“Yeah Mama!” She squirmed excitedly in my arms. I couldn’t help but chuckle at my daughter’s energy. I set her down on the ground for the last time.
Next up was Stone. He’d known about my leaving for a few weeks now, and he’d been pretty moody about it.
But when it came time to say goodbye, all of his anger vanished. My little boy ran up to me and threw himself in my arms. I was able to catch him and keep the stumbling to a minimum.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” He frowned as I adjusted him on my waist.
“It’s okay sweetie, I understand.”
“I’m gonna miss you. I promise I won’t forget you, and I promise I’ll tell Lake and Skye all about what a great mommy you are.” His words caused a small sob to escape my lips.
“Thank you, Baby.” I squeezed him tight, not wanting to put my little boy down. I wanted to stay, at least for another few months. But part of me knew that if I didn’t leave now, I’d never be able to. It had to be now.
“I love you.” Stone smiled sadly and kissed me on the cheek.
“I love you, too.” I choked out as I tried to keep myself from crying.
But that was all in vain. As soon as I set my oldest down, it was time to say goodbye to Dimitri.
I threw myself into Dimitri so hard he almost toppled over. We squeezed each other as hard as we could, each one trying to melt into the other.
“I love you.” I managed to whisper between sobs.
“I love you too.”
“Promise me you’ll take them somewhere safe?” I whispered quietly into his ear, specifically trying to keep the kids from hearing.
“Please, don’t be miserable for too long. They need you.” I warned. Part of me feared he’d curl up in bed for weeks at a time.
“I’ll try, there’s no telling until I actually lose you.” He nuzzled his face into the base of my neck. “But I promise you I can try.”
Finally, it was time to kiss him goodbye. It was a weird feeling, knowing you’re doing something for the last time. It was the last time kissing my husband. The last time holding my children. Hell, it was the last time I’d be seeing my children.
With all these lasts, I couldn’t help but think about all my firsts. My first kiss with Ash at the playground. The first time I used my powers, which ended up killing a girl. The first and only mission I took for F.R.O. My first time meeting Dimitri. My first time riding in an elevator and being in a building taller than three stories. My first time dancing in a strip club. My first time being pregnant. The first time I held Stone. The first time I kissed Dimitri.
All these moments flashed through my mind as I kissed him. For the first time since the message aired, I felt content. My life wasn’t perfect by any means. But it was mine, and now that it was almost over I could appreciate the beauty of it. I’d lived a good life, sure it had it’s bad moments, but the good definitely outweighed the bad.
Eventually the two of us had to come up for air. I stared into Dimitri’s eyes for a few seconds before blinking away my tears and turning away.
“You guys be good.” I warned my children once more. The three of them were sat quietly on the stairs. They all nodded, earning a smile from me.
“Bye Mommy.” Stone waved sadly. I gave him a small wave before opening the front door.
“I love you guys, never forget that.” They all smiled weakly at me and nodded.
Before I could stop myself, I stepped outside and shut the door behind me. Dimitri had already pulled the boat into the water and programmed Bridgeport into the GPS for me.
The four of them came out onto the deck as I climbed into the boat. I could hear Lake wailing despite the crashing of the waves around me. He was screaming for me, he wanted me to come back. Dimitri’s attempts to sooth him were in vain, the toddler would not stop screaming.
As I started up the boat, I couldn’t help but glance back at my family one last time. They were my everything, I hated to leave them like this. But I didn’t have a choice. This was bigger than me, bigger than my children. I couldn’t put my wants in front of an entire world’s worth of supernatural beings.
It broke my heart as I once again sped away from a place I used to call home in my boat. But this time was different. This time, I knew for certain that I was speeding off to my death.